STRATHCLYDE UNIVERSITY
HOCKEY CLUB
Name: Marius Brauckmann
Joined: 2012 (International Duty)
Caps:
Goals:
Position: Midfield
Previous Club: Germany
Chat Rating: German
Quarters Rating: Awaiting complete testing
Most Likely to: Miss a penalty flick
Least Likely to: Find Clare
Men's Alumni
Name: Jono Strachan
Joined: 2007
Caps: 111
Goals: 16
Position: Midfield
Previous club: Ellon
Chat rating: Shadow
Quarters rating: Shadow
Most likely to: Be seen on a sunny day
Least likely to: Be seen on a dull day
Name: Ben Burton
Joined: 2008
Caps: 136
Goals: 54
Position: Midfield
Previous club: Ellon
Chat rating: Happy Chappy
Quarters rating: So keen
Most likely to: Go to bamboo with the Caley birds
Least likely to: Dodge a right hook from his bird
Name: Ex-Teamboy 2008 aka Rory Tracey
Joined: 2008
Caps:
Goals:
Position: Forward
Previous club: South Antrim
Chat rating: A key player in past years. Somewhat of a nobody at present
Quarters rating: It's been so long we don't know. What is a quarter?
Most likely to: Be at work/see Emma
Least likely to: Attend a social event
Name: Malcolm Moir
Joined: 2007
Position: Defence
Previous club: Shinty. It's not a sport
Chat rating: Aggressively fabulous
Quarters rating: Sublime
Most likely to: Talk about the union
Least likely to: Make non-stick tackle
Name: Mark Craig
Joined: 2008
Caps: 131
Goals: 25
Position: Midfield
Previous club: Ellon
Chat rating: Vile and delightful.
Quarters rating: Ever threatening
Most likely to: Be with Iona
Least likely to: Keep his clothes on
Name: David McCandless
Position: Defence
Previous club: Instonians
Current Club: Hillhead
Chat rating: All round nice guy
Quarters rating: Asserts his authority
Most likely to: Be found in the oppositions half
Least likely to: Leave Uni life
Name: Michael Hemm
Position: Midfield
Previous club: Lochabar
Chat rating: Brutal
Quarters rating: Cant spook to save himself
Most likely to: Chat up a bloke
Least likely to: Accept an apology
Name: Michael Turbet/ Turbo
Position: Goalkeeper/Sieve
Previous club: None. He's new to this. Not like you'd know it...
Chat rating: Loud and obnoxious but we love him all the same
Quarters rating: Pretty gash
Most likely to: Strangle a girl during intercourse
Least likely to: Keep a clean sheet
Name: Liam King
Position: Midfield
Current club: Clydesdale
Chat rating: Will make you giggle. hehe
Quarters rating: A few flukey spooks here and there
Most likely to: Break a girl's hymen
Least likely to: Be out of breath on the pitch
Name: Wei Tadams
Position: Defence
Current club: Pingouin RPHCN, Belgium
Chat rating: Asian
Quarters rating: Horrendous
Most likely to: Prey on freshers
Least likely to: Buy clothes that fit well.
Name: Alex Macfadyen
Joined:
Caps:
Goals:
Position: Forward
Previous club: ?
Chat rating: Awkward
Quarters rating: Spooktastic
Most likely to: Injure somebody...
Least likely to: Leave Uni
Name: Ian Moodie
Position: Midfield/Forward
Current club: Western Wildcats
Chat rating: Took him a while but it was worth the wait
Quarters rating: Pish
Most likely to: Pull Turbos Cousin
Least likely to: Stick with a girl all night
Name: Ewan Fraser
Position: Midfield
Current club: Clydesdale
Chat rating: T..T...Top lad
Quarters rating: Makes a fair attempt. Room for improvement
Most likely to: Try and roof every ball he hits
Least likely to: Get into O'Couture
Name: Ex-Teamboy 2009 aka Zoc Clork
Joined: 2009
Goals:
Position: Defence
Previous club: Gordonians
Chat rating: Can't eat chicken
Quarters rating: Only for free drinks
Most likely to: Transfer to GU
Least likely to: Play hockey
Name: Stephen Molloy
Joined: 2010
Goals: 1
Position: Defence
Previous club: Aberdeen Grammer
Chat rating: Audacious
Quarters rating: Well practised
Most likely to: Run the Length of the Pitch
Least likely to: Play a Match Sober
Name: Ex - Teamboy 2010 aka Pikey
Joined: 2010
Goals:
Position: Midfield
Previous club: Tynemouth
Chat rating: Cheeky
Quarters rating: Steals the quarter
Most likely to: Fail
Least likely to: Recognise his girlfriend
Name: Mungo Hay Ex Club Captain
Joined: 2009
Goals: 18
Position: Defence/Midfield - 1st XI BUCS Captain
Previous club: Ayr
Chat rating: If Carlsberg did chat, Mungo's would be Peroni
Quarters rating: Dangerous
Most likely to: Befriend a lady
Least likely to: Seal the deal
Name: Andy Crowe
Joined: 2010
Goals: 4
Position: Defence - Club Captain
Previous club: YMCA
Chat rating: Drunk with power
Quarters rating: Loves a Spook
Most likely to: Take his clothes off
Least likely to: Find love in a hopeless place
Name: Finlay MacQuarrie
Joined: 2011
Goals: 6
Position: Midfield/Forward - 2nd XI Captain
Previous club: Western Wildcats
Chat rating: LAD
Quarters rating: Natural
Most likely to: Cheat
Least likely to: Drink responsibly
Name: Craig Grant
Joined: 2010
Goals: 11
Position: Forward/Keeper - Social
Previous club: The Army.
Chat rating: Team Viper/Juicy
Quarters rating: A trier, not a winner
Most likely to: Hang with the girls
Least likely to: Organise a subcrawl
Name: Mikey Atkins
Joined: 2011
Goals: 1
Clean Sheets: 3
Position: Goalkeeper - Secratary
Previous club: Moray RFC
Chat rating: 101010010101
Quarters rating: Deceptive
Most likely to: Join an orgy
Least likely to: Keep all his teeth in
Name: Conor Moran
Joined: 2012
Goals: 2
Position: Foward
Previous club: N/A
Chat rating: Making an effort
Quarters rating: Show us buddy
Most likely to: Put the effort in
Least likely to: Notice a nosebleed
Name: Craig Morton
Position: Defence
Current club: Kelburne
Chat rating: Incomprehensible
Quarters rating: Tries his best
Most likely to: Break into your house
Least likely to: Utter a comprehensible sentence